You’ve decided that now is the time for a gear shift. You’ve either had a coach or mentor before or you’ve heard about their benefits and you’re looking for your first one.
Whichever of these camps you find yourself relating to, this quick guide will serve you on your quest for your perfect match mentor.
Now, on the face of it, the situation could look like a muddy pool of possibilities, with varying degrees of murkiness.
You’re either feeling dazed and confused with your life as it currently stands, or you’re feeling super-focused and clear about exactly what you want.
Both of these positions do put you in the best spot for finding your ‘perfect match’ mentor.
Why would you want a mentor?
You’ve got this deep down sense that you’re about to launch onto the super-fast highway of life and you’re really wanting to accelerate through multiple timelines, creating your unique flavour of epicness along the way!
You have plenty of self awareness, you’re waking up from the matrix and have a pretty good idea about your visible blocks. But you’re not so cocky to believe that you’ve mastered this ‘game’ and KNOW that you have many blindsides or subconscious limiting beliefs that will and always do, knock you off your game.
You want a mentor that will support you to get back on track swiftly, cleanly with direction and momentum – no more singular procrastination for you!!
You got high ideas. They’re being downloaded quicker than your complex can process and record them! You’ve got your mission, you know your calling, your purpose for incarnating and you want to get the fuck on with it!
This is you who is already clear. You’ve already delved DEEP into your psyche, your childhood traumas. You’ve healed the inner child and the mother wound. You’ve been around the spiritual block more times than you’ve om shanthi’d. And you feel an excitement at the prospect of calling in a guide/mentor, someone who is ahead of you in the game, is inspiring and you know that together you’re going to totally kick ass in the New Earth!!
These are indeed exciting times for you!
Or you are the one who feels confused, somewhat directionless. You’ve been super successful in your career, business but you feel a deep yearning to do a complete 180 on your life. The prospect both excites and scares you. You have commitments and responsibilities but you feel really ready to take the plunge.
You may have already taken the leap of a total life change and realise that you would benefit from support from someone who has been where you are, knows the challenges, the mind hacks. Can give great direction towards limiting beliefs and blind spots. And has success stories literally streaming from their aura! (I was going to say ‘ass’ but I’d already used that word and for some reason it felt a little crude inserted at this point). I plumped for aura.
You will have some illuminating work ahead of you, some deep diving into your childhood is likely but not somewhere that you need to dwell.
You will also massively benefit from properly realising your potential, which is where finding a mentor that is also a skilled coach would be HUGE for you.
Coaching is an excellent tool and really can come into its own as the master key to Realisation!
While both of you may feel different in where you’re at, what you do both have in common here is DESIRE.
Desire is key to any and all transformation.
The difference between you however, is from WHERE the desire is generated.
As a mentoring coach this is something that I often work with clients on, to educate them on the subtlety of difference.
It’s a BE | DO | HAVE versus a HAVE | DO | BE perspective.
The BE DO HAVE perspective is like super-fast broadband. The HAVE DO BE is like dial-up.
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The Benefits of having a Mentor that also coaches.
Firstly, let’s briefly get to grips with what a mentor is and what a coach is.
A mentor is someone who is able to guide, support and encourage you along a similar path that they have already trodden. They can give you the benefit of their wisdom, give you tips, hacks and ideas on how to approach situations. They’re also great at holding you accountable and calling you out on your bullshit! They’ll consistently show up for you, share their contacts and resources with you and basically lead by example as they cultivate their own path.
A coach will be unflinching with the raw stuff. They’re skilled at digging in to reveal your deep buried treasure – your true potential. They will join you exactly where you are, provide you with a safe space in which to discover your hidden gems and illuminate alternative perspectives that you were previously unaware of.
“Both are powerful and profound individually but when you are able to combine mentoring with coaching, you have an unbeatable combination”. ~ Yvonne Miller-Secreto
Get Focused
This is the point where you get really clear on what you want in a mentor. Start with your intention. How do you want to feel before, during and after your sessions. List a few specific qualities that your mentor will embody – i.e. integrity, love, groundedness, gratitude, humility. These will be qualities that you most admire and would like to embody more within yourself.
Get a clear idea of how you think and feel now and of the journey you want to take. This may include specific things you’d like to learn about yourself, your capabilities. Or a specific personal or business project that you want support with.
You get to be as creative as you want to be.
Investigate
Now you’ve decided who you want and how you want to feel.
You’ve imagined the type of person that would best serve your needs and desires and you’re feeling pumped! You’re committing to the next phase…investigation.
Here’s a list of what you can do next:
- Ask friends for recommendations – be specific on who you’re actually looking for and find out what they loved the most about working with their mentor
- Check out their testimonials – it’s a great idea to get a consistent feel for what others are expressing about their experience
- Follow them on social media – this is a great way to connect with their content and feel out their vibe
- Follow your attraction – if you like what they stand for, you enjoy their content, they speak your language and they’ve got something you want ~ connect with them.
- Meet the mentor** – get a feel for them in person or online. Does what they have to offer you, work for you? Does what they feel like and say in person, match their social media content?
**A bit about the initial meeting a mentor
These initial meets ups are great for both parties as they provide an opportunity to ask questions, feel each other out and see if there’s a match happening.
Now, some charge for this, others don’t. It is not a reflection of their efficacy or principles, merely a preference on their part.
You will likely be asked to fill out a questionnaire beforehand. This is something I request and it is also something I have done a number of times. It’s actually a great tool for focusing in on what’s relevant and getting clear on intention.
Pricing
Basically don’t invest less than £1000 for 3 months ~ you want quality!
Great mentors and coaches price their services based on results and expertise, not time.
If you have less to invest, look for newly qualified coaches. They have some great offers on their packages in exchange for your testimonial and of course to stretch themselves and to hone their craft.
I’m currently in the process of looking for a new mentor myself. I know that the type of mentor I’m looking for, I expect to invest multiple thousands of pounds!
There are plenty of entrepreneurial mentors and epic coaches out there. By following this simple guide you will definitely sky rocket your life into the stratosphere and beyond!
One last little suggestion but its a great one – choose someone who fosters empowerment not dependency.
There will be moments within the therapeutic relationship (especially within coaching) when you will feel dependent on your coach. That’s a normal, natural response for someone adjusting to owning their own vulnerability. A coach with integrity will notice this and provide the best reassurance and not wish to inflate this at all. A good coach knows that this will pass, with the proper careful attention needed. A good coach wants to wave their client off on life’s journey, seeing them with a happy heart and dancing feet!
A coach or mentor that is driven by their ego and driven only to serve themselves would not be the wisest choice. Which is why conducting your own investigation into getting clear on the qualities you want your mentor to possess, is of great importance.
If you consistently leave your sessions feeling flat, needy, deprived, agitated, scared, lost. Instead of uplifted, empowered, connected, inspired, enthused; then it’s definitely time to unhitch from that train! That train probably hasn’t even left the station and it never will!
No harm done. Just go do your investigative work and bring in your new uplifting and empowering mentor.
Now go kick life’s butt!!
Anya Ward 